Nothing scares me more then birds. When people hear that that are like really! Birds!? My answer is YES BIRDS!!!! I've been attacked countless times! Another question that I get often after hearing my fear is... Have you ever seen the movie birds? My reply umm are you serious no way I'm terrified of them with out having seen a scare movie about them, I'm ok. After people hear that I've been attacked they never believe me so I begin to tell them stories. The great things about my attacks (if there is anything great about them at all!) is that there have been witnesses to a lot of them!!! Probably the best attack story I have has two witnesses! Yes not one but two! So therefore it is a story with backing. One of my closest friends basically like a brother to me and my roommate at the time Tanner went and played baseball in Provo. His girlfriend at the time and now wife Andrea went a long in fact it was her idea to go play. So thus I blame her fully for the events that soon follow. Although her calling us up to go play baseball, yes a girl calling guys to go play sports I'm pretty sure help solidify her as Tanners wife! Well us three go to the park ladi da so fun, laughs and smiles! I am pitching to andrea and she us hitting them out to Tanner. Before I continue this story let me help Andrea out. Most people reading this, although I think I just have one reader my wonderful 3rd mother Kathy, but people reading this are picturing this girl having fun with the guys playing baseball. Hitting the ball just a little and they are rolling out to Tanner oh so fun! Ummmm no Andrea is cranking these balls out there. First off she's probably better then me at baseball, not saying much but yea the first time I saw her hit i was like Barry Bonds who? She's not manly either I don't want people picturing that either she's just a normal petite girl that just knows how to hit! Anyways back to the story! So I'm pitching and Andrea is cranking the balls out to Tanner. Well I'm a pretty good pitcher I must say. Not too shabby. But I started getting distracted why.. because this stupid seagull smelled my fear! He started circling us. So all my attention and focus is on this stupid bird. I need to know where it is at at all times!!! Well now this bird is taking away from the game because my head isn't in the game. Andrea is letting me know that she isn't getting the pitches she would like! I mean she takes her baseball very seriously. So Tanner steps up! The hero! He grabs a baseball and throws it at the bird ya know to scare it and send it on it's way. Well either Tanner is the most amazing thrower ever or just a crazy fluke like the Randy Johnson incident, Tanner drills the bird. The thing squawks falls half way out of the sky. Then regains consciousness and starts flying. The thing is ANGRY NOW. Tanner in amazement still that hit the bird is still standing there. Andrea is still waiting for me to pitch to her again. As for me oh no I'm done. I was terrified of this bird when it first showed up. Its now mad what do you think its going to do. My fear brought it here. Its going to go after the weakest of the heard. Like lions going after zebras. This stupid bird starts swooping us! Im leaping and running while screaming. I looked like a ballerina put there. Well I make my way over to two soccer goals pushed together like a cage and I slide in there. Scared out of my mind! Waiting for this bird to fly over and just rip open the netting and kill me! Well Andrea finally leaves the bat and runs and gets in the cage that I have locked my self in. We just left Tanner out there. What is he doing while I'm trying to dig my way to China to escape death, he is throwing more baseballs at this bird. The bird now catching on to Tanners tactics is dodging it. Although Tanner isn't hitting the bird he is keeping it at bay. Tanner made the bird mad but at this moment I owe him my life. So after what seemed forever the bird leaves. Tanner and Andrea drag me out of my safety net and want to play some more. Umm I'm sorry I just had a near death experience I'm ready to go home. Andrea being who she is put her foot down and so 10 seconds later there I find my self again pitching to her. A short while goes away and we're back to some what of a ladi da day again. Some of you might say wow that was the worst attack story ever. First off just that would have scarred me as you can tell pretty much did but that is not the end. I'm in the middle of pitching to Andrea when out of no where she screams "Ty Look Out!" (kind of just like when the girl in Happy Gilmore screams happy look out when he is about to get run over). Well I flip around to see this seagull, yes the very same one, flying at eye level right at me! We lock eyes and all this bird has on his mind I can tell from his look is blood. Not Tanner's though not the guy that drilled him with the ball, but my blood. I turn and take off running. Now those that know me know that I'm not what most people would call fast not even wow he is some what quick. Some times people can't tell if I'm trying to run or just walking fast! Well at this moment you could have put me in the olympics and I would have put Bolt to shame! I'm running with everything I had. Yet I can hear the flapping of his wings getting closer. Now when you are afraid of birds and you are being chased by one that is the worst sound in the world. That sounds still haunts me to this day. At this moment I realize my shoes are loose, so I kick them off to reach my top gear. This whole time all I can hear besides the flapping of the nearing wings is Tanner yelling "Run Tyler RUUUNNN!!!" with a little laughter in his voice of course. Well the bird is gaining on me so to try and out smart it I make a huge U-turn in the field. Now I'm Running towards Tanner and Andrea. Well the stupid thing follows the same path that I made. Now the laughter that was in Tanner's voice has changed into somewhat of concern now. I've reached a speed that i have never reached before. My tears, yes tears I'm officially crying now, are flying backwards off my cheeks. I sprint past Tanner and run all the way to the bathrooms. The bird lands outside of the door and waits. I'm in the bathroom about to pass out from exhaustion and pure fear. When I hear Andrea scream. I peek out of the bathroom and there are like 30 seagulls flying and swooping those two out in the field. I feel my legs start to get weak. My mind racing trying to think of what I should do. Not about saving them they have to save themselves. I'm trying to think of what to do to save me! I don't know what I'm thinking but I take off for Tanner's car. While I'm running I'm screaming, because I can't say yelling because it is far too high pitched to call it that, Tanner open your car open your car. I reach his car and... its not open. So I instantly hit the pavement and roll under the car for cover. Then I start having a panic attack in fear that a bird is going to find me and get under the car with me and kill me. Finally I hear the car unlock. As I'm rolling out from under the car I see Andrea sprinting to the car with keys in hand. We both jump into the car. She's kind of like wow that was crazy a little scared. I'm trying to find my breath while crying at the same time. Poor Tanner is trying to pick up all the balls gloves and bats. We just watch as he is getting swooped he gets it all and takes off for the car. Now this next part is hard to believe trust me. It was hard for me to believe and I was there! The birds started swooping the car and pooping all over the thing. Tanner gets in and these birds are just pooping all over the car. Tanner puts the car in drive and we take off leaving the carnage behind us and dashing for home. It's a day that will live with me forever!
So funny. that's just one thing that makes me. Theres billions of people out there but we all our just one person! A song by Brad Paisley says you may think you are one of millions but you are one in a million to me. We all have to remember that we are all different, and the things that make us different whether they be personality traits, talents, FEARS, whatever they may be they are us and what a great blessing from God! We need to embrace who we are and just laugh at it! I'm me and I love being me!